I wouldn't be being completely honest with myself or anyone for that matter if I didn't admit I have doubt. Tomorrow I will drop my 3 year old off at preschool and leave him for almost 3 hours in the hands of other adults. While not strangers, I dont know them like my Mom....Grandma, my aunt, uncle, even best friend who have been the only people to ever watch my children. I cant help but doubt if we are making the right choice. Will he like it? God really what will happen if he doesn't like it? I dont think I will be able to handle that.
Doubt is a funny thing, because if we had not chosen this path and tomorrow Nash's 3rd birthday were to pass and we had chosen NOT to drop him off at school I would still feel doubt. Just for different reasons.
I must remind myself I am just doing the best I can. If its not the right choice then all I can do is be better next time. Learn from the choices and dare I say mistakes....yes I to sometimes make them and move forward and do better. I didn't want to say that word. Mistake! Because the last thing I want to even say, think, or jinx myself into thinking is I have made I mistake. I dont think that. I just have doubt tonight at 11pm as I sit packing my sons backpack. Ironic......3 years ago tonight I was packing my bag and double checking I had everything for his birth. I had doubt then...not like I could do anything about it. I doubted having kids so close together, I doubted how I would be a mother to two under the age of 2. I doubted how Wyatt would react and if I could help him adjust. We found our way as a family of 4, it took time. Bumps along the way, mistakes too....but being better the next time.
So yes I have doubt, its late and I should be in bed because we have a busy day tomorrow. So I am going to do just that, go to bed and tomorrow I will get up......get the kids going like I do every other day and wish my youngest Son a Happy 3rd Birthday....and drop him off at school.
Wish us luck!
5 comments:
such a good post, Kristen! I think it sums up 'parenthood' for sure :) I think the doubt, worries and fears come because we love our kids so much and we want what's best for them.
Good post... and good luck tomorrow! He'll do great.
Doubt? It sounds more like 'worry'. Doubt would mean you think you made the wrong choice -- but really, going to preschool is a great opportunity for our kiddos, and that is why you choose it. Worried it won't go well? That's just being a mom - and a good one at that!
Hang in there mom, you're doing great!!
Hartley
www.hartleysboys.com
I hope it went ok today! (and if it didn't, don't despair...tomorrow is another day. The first day of school is hard for any kid, so nice little baby steps...no doubt!!)
Looking forward to reading about it.
Alysia
Thanks everyone!!!
Hartley, its both lol of course worry but doubt, did I make the right choice, I was doubting his age really. Being selfish wanting him home with me :(. Having a hard day with his birthday and lots going on with him being the last baby (not so baby anymore lol)
Update on his first week of school tomorrow!
Just remember - there are very few 'mistakes' that we can't fix! So even if this turns out to have been the wrong decision (which I know it isn't,) you can always change it! And that's a good lesson for kids too. To know that you don't always have to be locked into a plan or decision. Different choices can be made later or next time. And it's much easier to learn from mistakes than from perfection!
Post a Comment