Walking through a local store a few weeks back with my Mom, on our way to the TOY department my 2 and 4 year old start running giddy that Grandma has said "lets go look at the trains and trucks" which means a new little toy for them. We round the corner and my 2 year old now out of sight with Grandma is happily contemplating what new Thomas train he will pick. I quickly catch a glimpse of Wyatt my 4 year old who is frozen in fear just one aisle short of the toy department, under a "fan" thats in the ceiling and might be blowing air, or at the very least making some sort of noise. He was to excited and ran under it on the way to the toy department and he realized he was under it before passing it unfortunately and now he is upset and saying "no no no no" covering his ears and stepping left then right not sure which way will take him out from under it. I scoop him up and place him just a few feet away from it, he calms down and continues on to catch up with grandma and his brother but now glancing up every step at the ceiling making sure not to make the same mistake again.
This is a very typical shopping trip for our family. We avoid if at all possible fans, and loud noises. Costco produce section is compleetly out of the question, bathrooms with fans that we cant turn off ourselves is also not an option. This is very much part of his SPD, very high anxiety around loud noises (not all just some) usually ones associated with fans, blowers, alarms things he cant SEE. Little fans like the ones we have in our house he can see them working he is ok with. At a store he has not been to he will point out every one and walk around them especially if they are on. He is getting better about walking under them if they are off (no noise or air movement). As you can imagine this makes it hard for him to use public restrooms, he is better some days than others. We make sure we use the restroom before we leave the house, or if we are at a "safe" location he will go before we leave. He has become to good at holding it till we get home.
He is on a wait list for OT but in the mean time we are really trying to make sure he knows he can cover his ears instead of screaming and its helping. We are also going to get him a set of headphones and a mp3 player (kid sized) he can put on. He will have control over it and like if Nash is having a meltdown in the car (the crying and screaming from Nash is no fun to hear especially when you have sensitivity and anxiety to noise) headphones should help.
Its hard to find a line between exposing him to situations so we can work on coping techniques and avoiding them to protect him. Seeing your child frozen in fear is very hard :( especially when its something that most of the public don't give a second thought too.
2 comments:
Your shopping trips sound like ours, of course. Our local Costco has a big fan running at the entrance, so I either have to run really fast inside or we just don't go (I have chosen the latter at this point). Public bathrooms are a nightmare for us because of smells...I feel your pain!
We use my husband's noise canceling headphones from the lawn mower a lot. They are a little big, but they work and they even give my son sensory input from the pressure on his cheeks. He'll request them now, so that's great.
Hang in there! Those trips will get easier!
alysia
http://trydefyinggravity.wordpress.com
It won't help with fans or other people flushing, but if you scope out the bathroom first and no one's there, you can use post-it notes to cover the auto-flush sensors, so he won;t be startled by the flush. And heck, just don't flush when with him. It's a public restroom. Sometimes people don't flush. We'll live. (you can always write on the post-it for the next person to remove it!) Or you can post him outside for a few seconds to run back in to remove the post-it, or have the younger one do it while the older one stands outside the restroom while you stand in the doorway to keep an eye on both!
Plus, keeping a pad of post-its in your purse has other benefits as well. Emergency coloring supplies; jot down a note like where you parked, or that you aren't done with the table yet, please don't clear away your half-eaten food, stupid waitress! I'm sure you can think of more uses!
I have a rigid place mat in the car, since I never know when we'll use play-doh at my sister's (she only has 1 play mat) or something, and I stick post-its on it and give Z a crayon to color on the post-its in the car. They don't fall off the 'tray.' :)
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