Oh gesh I lied I didnt get back to post the other day lol, but I am back now. Feeling better, got some sunny days under my belt things are moving along better on my calendar and life is good.
We experienced something I want to blog about today, so here I am. See when its quiet all is good I dont blog lol ;) all crazy breaks out and I want to blog hahah. No really wanted to share this experience with everyone and maybe get some feedback. So its National Teacher Appreciation Week. I have been working with the kids for about 4 days now on cards (homemade) for the teacher, nothing fancy, printed and let the kids sign and color. We started a few days ago because between the two kids we have 10 teachers, Nash has 8 (special education classes has higher teacher to student ratio) and Wyatt has 2. So that was a lot of coloring. Kids were really into it, I spread it out over a few days and we just did it together as a family, got some chocolates for Nashs teachers and a gift for Wyatts class (supplies they prefer).
I let them know today was the day to give the teachers there gifts we got out the door this am I remembered to put them in the car last night and we headed out. Got to school headed in and Nash started his routine and I had to run back out to the car to get them and came back in (problem #1 I should of seen...out of routine) and then gave him a card to go hand to his head teacher, he walked over and was so shy about it and I said its ok she will love it, and she said "Is that for me, thank you!!!" and he BURST INTO TEARS. He buried his head into my shoulders and cried, I was so sad I felt bad for him and for putting him in this position, I know he hates attention but didnt think about this attention being a problem. I offered to give out the rest of the cards and candy and he promptly dried his tears and went back to work and got back into routine. I felt so bad.
I should of known, we have been having a problem with a Mom who is at the school being over the top when it comes to the attention she is giving Nash (and all kids for that matter, it just of course bothers Nash) when we walk in the door to the school in the AM, in fact its gotten so bad that I had to start bringing Nash in a side door to the school because he HATES the attention from her. I tried talking to her but she has problems also picking up social cues and well I was even eventually very blunt and she still didn't get it so I let the teacher know she talked to her but I still come in the side door with Nash, ironically her son is in the same program as Nash only in the afternoon class. Nash has been fine 99.9% of the time since we started coming in the other door.
Nash has always had a problem with accepting the attention and social aspect of these things, but it had gotten much better until recently. So I let my guard down a little and these things snuck by me, in fact the whole door mom incident I tried to turn into a social learning experience at first until I decided he has every right to NOT like her and not do that, he is LEARNING to be social but at the same time I need to respect his feelings and instinct when it comes to people he needs to learn that too.
Thoughts?
3 comments:
I read a book about kids with Highly Sensitive Personalities, and one of the anecdotes it gave was with a child and a teacher whose voice was very loud. The kid was so overwhelmed he started feeling too sick to go to school. The mom talked to the principal who wouldn't do anything, since kids need to learn to deal with people they don't like. Finally the mom decided to make them do something, since, while kids DO need to learn how to interact with people they don't like, it should be PEERS, not adults that they have to learn to deal with. ADULTS are mature and (should be) in control enough to adapt their behavior around kids, or aware enough to avoid kids who dislike them.
You guys all know that Z hates being touched or spoken to, and you all respect that. So clearly it's doable, by adults who aren't too self-centered to accept that while it's the CHILD's problem, we're the ones mature enough to have to be the solution.
Kendra thanks so much, wow it does make a lot of sense hu! Very interesting and true!!!
For my guy, it's physically-based - SPD is how the brain is wired - and it's not behavior-based (he can't turn it off). So trying to address it by sorta teaching him how to act doesn't help. What has helped is to give him tools on how to deal with being overwhelmed - because that's gonna happen in a LOT of situations. Things like putting his hands over his ears, or fingers in the ears, or using an iPod as he's going into a stressful situation (like the transition into school) - something he can focus on and not the overwhelming part of the situation.
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